You could say that this is a part 2 to “Get Real Bitch”. Yes this is how I talk. I mean Bitch in the most loving, gender neutral way possible by the way. I want to make this post all about what happened when I discovered that being me as me was the only thing I had of value to offer the world. This is a bit different than speaking the truth. This has to do with being my true self. A lot of enlightened guru’s love to talk about the concept of “there is no self”, and although on one hand that’s true, it is all God and all awareness, illusion or not, there is a platform in which this God is expressed from. I realized a few months ago that this platform is that of the personality. One of the enlightenment stereotypes is that the obliteration of the ego, of the personality and of all aspects of the illusion are let go of. I will say that it is more of an integration of the personality, of time and space, and of the ego that happens. Rather than solely living from these places, they get sewed back into the foundation, the wholeness, the God being expressed through the illusionary self. Otherwise, without the ego, a person doesn’t stay in their body for long.
So my personality you could say is one where I’ll crack a silly joke about just about anything, often when I’m the only one in the room. I dance around naked, and I also dance around with really large earphones while I’m buying mac’ n cheese at the grocery store. My earphones are usually on my head when I’m outside, I probably listen to 100 songs a day on Spotify and I have 4000 songs on various playlists of mine, or close. I love to sing and be musical.
I enjoy a ton of variety and I also love to learn about just about anything. My idea of a “good time”, is going to a weekend seminar to learn about Quantum Physics, or the 7 major world religions, or crop circles, yes crop circles. I guess you could said that I am a silly nerdy type. I’m also introverted, so I don’t prefer social interaction in group settings (unless music is involved) but although I’m introverted, I’m not shy. I guess one more common theme of my personality is that I’m very intense and people are often frightened by this intensity. Anything that I find in my vision, as long as there is passion, I give 110%. Although I know this tends to frighten people, I’ve never tried to be any other way because I deeply enjoy the intensity. I love hard runs, getting up at 3 am, rough language, extreme sports, not that I’ve tried them all but I would, and deep tissue massages. I’m the person that says “HARDER” to the massage therapist 15 times during a full body massage. I didn’t come here to be tickled, I wanna feel something baby gimme, your best or go home.
Half of the week, I end up dressing in baggy boy clothes cause I all about that comfy life and the other half of the week, I’ll straighten my hair, put some make up on and look very feminine cause I like to get my beauty on. I just go with the mood for the day, I really have no preference.
SO the platform in which I express love from is that of an intense, nerdy, silly, musical, approachable, introverted human being. There you go, that sums my personality up. What can I say, I like a lot of variety and the only time I’m still is when I’m reading or meditating.
Anyways, once I figured all of that out, I made it an intentional point to just be me. Never rude, but also no longer apologetic as to how being me comes across to others, and I can take one guess and say weird or CONFUSING. Do I get strange stares all the time from my baggy clothes, singing out loud and bulky headphones? From some sure. Others smile back at me as if they’d always wanted to do that in public.
So during this enlightenment journey what does using the platform of your personality to express love from do? From using your platform and noone eles, this allows you to connect with the people you were meant to connect with.
I go to a bunch of Course in Miracles discussion groups, and in the past also Buddhist meetings, and when I speak about something, I can always tell who is completely dialed in to what I’m saying. They look at me, I look them, and it is something in the eyes, there is just this shared space of knowing, of connection. Some are connected, some are confused by what I say, and others just don’t care for what I have to say. There is a reason behind this. We all come from different platforms, along with our own personal vibratory system that changes by the moment. This is going to impact who you resonate with. So you might as well use what you have, so that the people you were meant to connect with find you, and you find them.
It’s so liberating to no longer care, to no longer walk around with 15 false masks that you have to wear based on who you are hanging out with or even working with. For instance with your buddy Tom you have to wear about 13 masks, because you know those 13 aspects of your personality, he makes it clear he’s uncomfortable to be around. And him being uncomfortable makes you uncomfortable, thats what this really is about anyway, your discomfort to be yourself. Or your friend Sheila, you keep much less masks on, about 4 of them, but those deepest parts of you, you just KNOW she cant handle. Or could she?
What if it turned into never being about whether the other personal accepts all aspects of you or not. What if you were able to drop all of those expectations, and just show yourself as you are. Understand that the other person is simply projecting their “stuff” onto you, and if that makes you uncomfortable, it means they are mirroring things within your internal network that you need to heal. Now this is an advanced concept that we will cover later in other posts.
Back to being yourself, now, I’m not advising to show up naked to pick your kids up from school. You can do what you want, but we do have certain social standards that we’ve decided to agree on collectively. And of course I’m not suggesting being deliberately harmful towards another, intending ill will on them and then falling back on, “Well I was just being myself.” You know what I’m getting at folks, lets be real here.
So whether you are 55 or 18, drop the politeness, the people pleasing temptations, the delusional desire to come off as perfect (whatever the fuck that means, honestly, but I used to call myself a perfectionist), and be real bitch. I love you for even attempting this, and you will fall in love with this journey on day 1, if you try this out soon into your spiritual journey.
Being real means you are offering the only thing you really ever could’ve offered to another to begin with. A platform not only for you, but for them, to embrace themselves just as they are and if they choose, to show the world who they are fearlessly. Just as I am doing for you now. Because I love you and in truth, there is only one of us here.