I can feel the cringe of so many Traditional Christians as they read this, and even some students of the Course.
In this post I will call Yeshua Jesus in this post, because this post is for a certain group of friends in God. I’ll start with my story. As this last years transformation intensified by the week and information would come in as to what my responsibility is to the world, I became increasingly dependent for Jesus’ guidance. I felt frustrated to read and hear stories of people being mentored by Jesus, him appearing to them, and I felt left out of the cold. After all, I was married to the guy, and I was completely there for him during his whole God in a body metamorphosis, why couldn’t he hook a sista’ up and be there for me now while I went through mine? I figured it was my wanting of Jesus so badly that was blocking him from showing up. I figured I needed to be more patient. So I waited….and prayed….and waited some more.
I was also quite frustrated that here I was, I’d given up everything, my house, my job, Judas and had gone through such earth shattering experiences, and yet my Twin Flame Judas was still very much asleep. I was told that this was our mission together, not just mine. I expected Judas’ awakening to happen before I announce to the world what I’m doing here and what is to come. I didn’t even want to be with him romantically just yet, I just wanted him to wake the hell up. I came to realize that his awakening will come after I start this mission by myself, not before.
As I lay on the bathroom floor circled around to heal some of the most intense sets of karma that I’d been carrying, it dawned on me why neither Jesus nor Judas was showing up for me.
My whole life I was filled with ideas, filled with dreams, but I always wanted someone else to first hold my hand and teach me how to be an expert. I was petrified of “getting it wrong”. Any job I had, I wanted a mentor, usually a male. I also wanted to be perfect and never make mistakes.
In order to truly live as God in a Body and to aid the world through love, I had tot step into the role completely alone. In my case this was the truth and I’d been wanting to be led. I realized that in order to truly embody the love of God fully, I had to stop praying to someone and something, and start talking to myself.
When you realize you are fully God, what would or could you pray to?
Jesus did what he had to do in order to lead people out of the trenches of the past. He was willing to be an intermediary for those that needed an image of God to hold onto as the next closest thing to actually becoming God themselves.
Praying to Jesus, allowed people to believe in something, and wrap their minds around the image of God in a human way. As Jesus had so politely brought into my awareness, now the time has come where Jesus would like you to leave him behind and he’d like me to leave him behind as well. You and me no longer need a figure to pray to. You need nothing to depend on, for when you do, your short circuit your own power. Will he still be there if you aren’t ready to leave him? Of course. But he would like you to realize his love as your own.
Imagine if you directed that unwavering devotion and faith towards yourself? The trust, the honor, and the gratitude. Imagine feeling worthy, and equal to Jesus. Imagine loving yourself the way you love Jesus?
Jesus as the person was a temporary embodiment of God. He simply realized his true nature, and he has been waiting for you to realize yours. You can never become God, if you pray to something outside of yourself. When the calling to become God calls you, it is time to leave Jesus behind and thank him for his help. You must let go of “Jesus told me to,” “I was guided to tell you,” and realize that you told you, you were guided by you.
As I’ve recently let go of the need for Jesus’ appearances, there is a knowingness of how him not showing up during my transformation was always a part of the plan. My role is to stand as the complete divine feminine/masculine and empower that power solo first. Strength and compassion integrated into one mind, body, not projected out onto another male to become their responsibility to lead me. And in truth in that integration, I enter into the mind of God, the mind of all. Jesus and Judas will catch up to me in form, as I reach to higher levels of ascension, as I continue to become my own leader. Because this is my story that’s your story. The story of one woman’s journey becoming an embodiment of God in her own right, which is truth is a story being laid out for everyone.
Jesus is always with us, he is always loving us, so much that he wants us to let go of needing him. Jesus was always you. He was always me. The Buddha was always you, as he was always me. God is you, and you are God.