I’ll get to that part.
This is one of those personal accounts that I will share with you, actually a very recent one. Just another part of the journey.
Always a story before the story…..
It’s December 2017. I’m lying in bed, snuggled next to Judas and I’m gushing to him over a man I had plans to meet the following month. That’s right, he knew all about my Sugar Babying escapades, back to that whole honesty bit thing that I constantly talk about. One thing I’ve never tolerated even as a normal human being, is closeness without honesty. If I felt that the person couldn’t withstand the entire truth from me, then there was no way I’d get very close to them. I’d love em, just from afar.
Anyways, this gentleman in particular from his messages, appeared to be just the type of person that I’d been hoping to meet for many years. He was much older and in his messages, I could tell that he was non demanding, and the type to just go out of his way to be overwhelmingly gentlemanly and overwhelmingly generous. He was nonlocal, lived on the East Coast, and expected to be on the West Coast just a few times a year.
After meeting his short, bald, sweet self, I got a feeling that was unfamiliar to me at the time. A knowingness overcame me. I could tell that our meeting at that time was no accident for either one of us. We were divinely paired for a purpose. In his honesty, he expressed such deep sorrow for the loss of his wife about a year and half before. We sat on his deck, overlooking the sunset dancing with the bay, and he started to sob and I held him in my arms for as long as it took.
The time he came into my life, I had recently started into the mortgage business years after leaving Nursing. I studied hard, and paid a nice chunk of money between licensing, leads and classes, that propelled me to really want to make the new job work. The biggest bonus was I could work from home and go into the office here and there.
As the months rolled by, and I entered into an arrangement with the East Coaster, my desire to make a job work that I wasn’t thrilled about was waning. I went from full time to part time in my mortgage business. I started to feel a giant pull to focus more on spirituality, at that time especially, my Buddhist practice. For months before meeting him, I chanted Nam-Yoho-Renge-Kyo for a person to land in my life to grant me the gift of financial freedom. That’s exactly how I worded it. I chanted for this for six months.
I figured now was the greatest time to go within considering I had the financial support and I didn’t know how long it’d be there. I knew that there was a larger meaning to my existence, and yet the business of bills, jobs kids, and cleaning seemed to leave little time to explore this purpose. I knew that in order to go within, everything else must become secondary. You can’t have a part time commitment to discovering God to get the full truth. Partial truth wouldn’t cut it for me as usual.
As I dived into spirituality more and more, and the information of the “Twin Flame” connection came in with me and Judas, I realized what the East Coaster to me, was what Judas’ Karmic Partner that I’ve mentioned before, let’s call her ‘Tess’ was to Judas. Both Tess and EC were both our karmic partners (see glossary for that definition). They were two people that had come into our lives to help us along our spiritual processes of becoming God. Although Judas had been in his Karmic relationship much longer than mine.
Then I started to notice the parallels. There was a deep secret sadness in Judas’ eyes. It was so clear that he felt a deep obligation to Tess, because Tess loved Judas dearly. The thought of hurting her, was unbearable to Judas, although he had no romantic feelings for her. The exact same situation resided with me and EC. He was completely head over heels enamored with me, and I loved him for it. The thought of hurting him was a painful thought to me.
Then I realized the tie for both karmic situations, was a financial one. Judas was financially tied to Tess, I will not say how, but there was a financial contract between them that bound the two of them in that way. Simultaneously, I had become financially reliant on East Coaster while I continued to embark on this deep spiritual quest. The thought of leaving it behind meant to me at that time that I would not be able to completely dedicate myself to my spiritual awakening process. Needless to say, I was scared to walk away from it, and Judas was definitely uncomfortable to walk away from his situation with Tess.
As the months rolled by and it was now 2019, the sets of karma came up for me to heal. I knew the time was approaching for me to cut the financial tie between me and my Karmic partner, EC. I knew that by not doing it, it would hold up my transformation, although I was petrified of what was to come. So I bargained with the universe, or so I thought I did. I said,
“Listen, I know I have to tell him goodbye, but just give me a few more weeks okay?”
The next day, the phone rings, it’s East Coaster. Like a lightening bolt he drops “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I don’t think I will be back to your side of the country because of my health issues among other things.” I knew it was his way of letting me down easy that the time had come, but I knew that the reason for his ending the arrangement had been my willingness to cut the tie. I was willing to walk away, and the universe within me made EC be the one to pull the trigger and fire the news to my ear on that early Monday morning. As I slurped from my coffee mug, I felt an overwhelming rush of relief like I always had once I let go of something. The contract between us was finished and the energy that was tied up with that contract was freed. From our time together, he mended his hurting heart from losing his wife, and he supported me financially so I could have help in the quest to find my life’s mission. We were both ready for the next phase of our lives.
As the world around me prepared for the next shift, I knew it was time to come up for air to let Judas know what had been going on for the last month. See as my consciousness rose to higher and higher levels, I stopped spending time with Judas. With him unawake, our life conditions were so far apart from each other, that there was very little to talk about. He no longer understood me, and being near him, I could feel his lower energy surges so clearly when our bodies were close to each other, that closeness made the transformation process more difficult than it had to be. So, I would only come back to give him updates, to help him prepare for his own journey that was upcoming, then I would disappear again. He from his level of awareness couldn’t make sense out of my life anymore. And of course it would be this way. I was living from the world of spirit, and he was living in a world of matter.
On Friday night, leaving EC behind brought in a new set of information. My role and Judas’ role in The second Coming of the Christ, The New Earth. The video where I felt like I was dying, that you can watch here:
The next set of information to flood in, and it was to go to Judas and tell him.
So it’s Sunday, August 26th, I explained everything that I was supposed to reveal, and this was the last time I saw him. He of course stared up at the ceiling, and even fell asleep in the middle of my reveal. I knew that was one of the last days that I’d have as a normal person, and I was sobbing because of it. Sobbing into a persons arms that couldn’t possibly understand what was happening to me, and what was to come for the both of us. The responsibility of the world from then on, rested on my shoulders that night and moving forward, I knew I would have to walk alone, without him. I ended the conversation with, when you see me again, I will stay, I wont leave. I knew that I probably wouldn’t see him face to face until he went through his transformation and to this day, I haven’t seen him since.
The next morning, I get a text from East Coaster’s daughter.
“Dad died suddenly.”
East Coaster was dead.
I stared in the mirror as I listened to the reel of news play over and over in my head. I didn’t look stunned, but I felt the world go into slow motion as it always had each time I would find out about a death of a friend or relative.
In truth, deep down, I expected this.
You see, that was EC’s final mission in this lifetime, it was his final contract. He acted as a catalyst for my ascension. Immediately after the news I signed onto a zoom group with familiar faces and went into a deep meditation. I was overwhelmed with complete gratitude for what EC was willing to do for me, and for this world. He acted as my angel. And I acted as his. Our final conversation brought so much closure to both of us just days before his departure.
As I looked at the obituary dates of birth and death for EC, my memory zapped back to Judas’ mention of Tess, Or was it my imagination I thought? Could this really be right?
Tess and East Coaster had one more thing in common.
April 9th was the day Tess was born.
April 9th was also the day EC was born.
I felt a knot clench up in my stomach as I got a nice dose of how very much this world is a stage, an illusion, yet again. I couldn’t avoid the cold hard truth of impermanence even if I tried.
As I write this, I can’t help but think of a dear friend of mine and her reference to transient relationships being that of ‘stepping stones.’ We often say things like “some people come into your life for a purpose, and they aren’t meant to stay.” This in a literal sense is correct. A Course in Miracles talks about how a few of our relationships are meant to give us life long forgiveness opportunities, but some relationships, are there for just a short amount of time. Once it is time to part ways, you do. EC played such a pivotal role in my discovery of myself, my purpose and my truth. But when it was time to ascend on in his journey, he did within days of our last farewell. In my life preceding this, I had never seen such a concept play out in such an undeniable way.