It is funny that even so far along on this path, I still think, oh well there will never come a day where I will share that piece of information will I? If the human me wasn’t almost fully integrated into the God me, this as a normal person, would be such a tough thing to write out. The voice that tries to scream,
Don’t share that!
You could scare someone.
You’ll sound crazy.
It’s just so faint now. The voice of fear is a weak, wimpy whisper.
I’ve mentioned different time lines of different extra-sensory abilities, unlocking at different points. Remember I mentioned that it was around spring when the origination of my consciousness or “soul” was revealed. I had already at this point, started to become distant towards my Twin Flame Ben/Judas. The more information that would come in, the more I would integrate, and then this would create more and more of a gap between us that I couldn’t fill.
It got to the point where what was there to talk about? What would I say when he asks,
Him: Hey, What’s going on Jazz?
Me: Oh ya know, just going through the process of becoming God in a body and all, becoming the love that I am, and pretty much shedding off an old layer of myself each week, and patiently waiting for your awakening process to start.
Me: Oh, and how are you Judas?
Clearly, there were no words to bring him into understanding me and there never will be words. In the same way I’ve experienced God, and that is how I’ve come to know the truth of what I’m doing here, he’d have to too if that’s part of his path. Words don’t teach. Experience does. I went through my ups and downs of acceptance of this, sometimes days where I felt completely isolated, and walking into a world of God that although would prove to be more real, and more magnificent, it was all one big mystery as to what I was walking into, and I was definitely walking into it alone.
So a few weeks before I was headed to Philly, the information presented to me was that me and Judas, were in on this together. But there was nothing, I mean nothing, on his end externally that was showing even slight signs of his own Christ awakening.
So one day I’m home, relaxed, but still confused. So I start talking. To me. The real me. Otherwise known as God.
Me To God: Yeah, But how is this whole situation going to shift, how does an unawakened person just, poof realize God, realize their life purpose, overnight? What the fuck?
Okay, it’s more like a rap.
The information maybe came in a few days later. As I lay in bed one night, eventually relaxed, I started to see flashes. Flashes of a car, an accident, flashes of a hospital bed, and flashes of Judas being in the bed. Flashes on me kneeling at his bedside along with his family.
Round and around my mind went. I decided
NO, even if it is true, I can’t handle it. I decided to check in with one person.
I have not mentioned her much just yet, but my sister in-law Laura, went through her own very deep awakening process around the same time I did. She was also getting flashes of information overnight, visions.
So I sent her a text.
Hey Laura, this is weird but there is something about Judas. Something that is to go on with him in the future. I can’t tell if its good or bad. When you meditate, will you let me know if you get anything?
I kept the information that I was getting private, because I didn’t want her to be influenced in anyway by what I was seeing. After I didn’t hear back from her, I decided to put it all in the back of my mind. Seal it away, and try to forget about it.
The Flashes of the Future
So now several weeks later I am traveling. It always feels like magic to me hopping off of a plane and poof! I’m on the other side of the country. So now there I am visiting Philadelphia for my aunt Helen’s wedding. Long rides in the rental car, visiting this family member and that family member. Ping ping ping.
I’m spending time with Laura and my brother Anthony, we are kicking around at my moms house on the couch. I say goodbye to them, I was headed down to the shore.
See y’all at the wedding. I wave back as I slam the door behind me.
As I hop in the car I realize, shoot let me run back in to get my charger.
I go back inside, and Laura has a worried look on her face and
Laura: Jazz, I’ve been wrestling with telling you this for a few weeks, because I really don’t know what it means. But as I meditated, when it came to Judas, two words came up, just two words. Car accident. I cant tell if its him specifically, or if he’s somehow involved.
FUCK. FUCK FUCK.
Just that one conversation that day between me and Laura, unlocked more details over the following weeks in my awareness and hers. More flashes and details came in. This was us the night of the wedding. Laura is on the right.
As I huffed and puffed from a beach run about about a month later in June, catching my breath between the flashes of information coming in. I started writing myself a text on my phone.
Me to God: I don’t know what to do. I can’t see him. What the fuck is the purpose of me knowing this beforehand? I can’t even look at him. I can’t see him. I’m not telling him this. I’m not doing it.
And, no I’m not done, how is a car accident going to bring him to awaken? It still doesn’t make sense. It would take a whole lot more than just that. There has to be more to the story.
I started to get flashes, of someone else, in the car. He was driving, but apparently, he wasn’t alone and I still don’t even want to think about it or write about it. And I still don’t.
I knew there had to be more to the story. I knew it’d be only a matter of weeks before somehow it would be revealed.
One ordinary evening in July, snuggled up and just about ready for my early ass bedtime, Laura texts me.
Laura: It all came in in meditation. With the car accident, Judas is going to have a Near Death Experience, an NDE, that is what is going to occur. That’s how he will come to know God and awaken to his true purpose. Youtube it. There is so much online about them.
The most severe goosebumps attack my body, and the wave of knowing came in. Everything she was saying, was instantly confirmed. I dizzily spit back text after text.
Just as she texts me more information back about what she saw, about the NDE, I crank my neck around to the tv behind me, as if in on our texting the character on the tv says.
“My brother had a near death experience and it was the best thing that ever happened to him in his life. We are now closer than ever.“
I look over to see who’s even watching the tv and what it could be. I check the tv, a random you tube video that one of my twins happened to be watching. I snatch the remote from my son Xander and I rewind to hear the words one more time.
It was best thing that ever happened to him in is life. We are now closer than ever.
I wanted to know the purpose of this information coming in. I wanted answers and I got them.
The Future is always Now
So how is a thing like premonitions even possible?
I was still thinking to some degree that God is somewhere out there. I am God. And as I’ve taken a journey back into that awareness, God resides in the present moment. Within every now moment, the past, present and future possibility exist as one continuum. What the information wont provide is a set timeline for any occurrence. In the now there is no time, months and years are our humanistic creation.
But the future isn’t predetermined?
Yes and no.
Every possible outcome, every effect to every cause, is already predetermined by you, by God. But the one you choose on this platform called “earth”, is always up to your free will. Think of a video game. Every possible move, level, achievement and score is already written onto the software of the video game. You can play the game, and choose from move to move where you go and what you do. But every possibility, already exists, and you experience it in the game, based on your ability to unlock that particular possibility.
You see as humans, we are creating our future in every moment of the now, with our thoughts, either consciously creating, or unconsciously mis-creating our reality. It isn’t a God out there, punishing us or holding a scroll revealing our predetermined fate out for us to see ahead of time. It is us as humans, as god with amnesia, sealing our fate in each moment that we choose to create with our thoughts. It’s just that people don’t realize that they are choosing their future in every moment, so they often make causes that lead to effects or outcomes in their life that they don’t want to see on a conscious level. So, what happens in an awakening like the one that happened to me, is you completely tap into the now. Within the now, resides the future information in which you or another person is pivoted towards.
Can a premoniton be wrong?
I want to answer this in a certain way. God is always in the now, right here as the hidden and totality of who we are. Every occurrence that happens in the now, is absolutely perfect. So for reasons beyond my level of human understanding, in the now, a particular vision is shown to me. It’s my job to receive, and invest nothing into what I saw and be open to all possibilities outside of what I saw, also including the possibility I saw. Many a times I’ve seen/heard something at a particular time from God, and months later, I realize how important it was for me to see/hear what I heard at that given time regardless of changes that occurred in what I heard. Cause it pivoted me further in a direction of growth
Can the future be changed?
On another note from the above paragraph, Yes. But it is up to the person. Future changes are not likely for human beings that are creating with their thoughts from a place of the past. Their mind is not in the present moment and with a mind in the past, the causes they make are also products of the past. Therefore they are walking into a predetermined future or “effect” to the cause. But is changing the future possible? Within each moment, it is possible to change the future.
Let me talk more abut the now, and how the past present and future are one. I am deliberately over simplifying this explanation to make a point. Look at these spirals of dominos.
Lets call each individual colored spiral a track. Track Green is the green dominos, and Blue is the blue dominos. Lets focus on those two sets of dominos and not the other colors. Now within track Green, look at each individual green domino as a cause and effect or “outcome”. Lets say in the now, I tap into track green. Regardless of what point I am on on track green, I can behind me and see all the causes and effects of the past, and I can look ahead of me and see all of the causes and effects of the future related to the green track.
But then somewhere along the line, a cause/intention/decision is made that pivots me onto track blue, the blue dominos. At any point in the continuum of blue dominos, now the future you are walking into has completely changed, because the causes you are making in your life have changed.
Now the truth is there is an infinite number of “domino tracks”, that hold future possibilities, not just six. And God, the real you, knows every infinite possibility of past/present/future continuums that exist in the now. Just people living as a god with amnesia, only have conscious access in the now, to a limited amount of information or “tracks”.
This is an observation not a judgement. But this is why you can know someone, not see them for ten years, and they are singing the same song they were singing 10 years ago. Same money problems, same relationship problems, same family problems. It is because they are operating at the same level of cause making that they were 10 years ago. They were on the “green track”, and they are still on the green track 10 years later. Living from the past and walking into a predetermined future.
When it comes to what is to come possibly in the future, I have to do my part. Which is to be there when the time is right. I will be by his side, and out of hiding, when the time comes, one way or another. I have to keep my emotions out of this, and understand that we all choose what future we want to walk into and it simply isn’t my choice. I’m the observer. The truth is, I love him. And in no way do I want physical harm to come his way, but I have to accept that it isn’t my choice. It has been very hard to carry this information for as long as I have in silence and writing this out has been an outlet for me. I see as this blog has continued, many of it’s posts involve me revealing privately kept information, that turns into me healing a fear as I write it out and express it to the world.
I can only imagine, what I will be writing about in the “future”.
Update: To anyone who may read these out of order. In the beginning of this journey, I met Judas (Ben) in 2017. I was not told that Jesus/Yeshua was incarnated as well. Judas for me at the time that I wrote this, acted as a catalyst to the awakening of the Feminine Christ within me. Judas, Mary and Jesus are all of the same consciousness expressed three ways. It turns out that much of the prophetic visions that I saw, involving Judas were indeed actually visions involving Yeshua but I hadn’t met Yeshua just yet. Because of the love of God that I found first through Judas, and everything I went through, I walked right into the arms of my Yeshua in January 2020.