Preparing for Homeless

This is about the aftermath after October 10th, the Officer Coming to my house to drop off the eviction notice.

That video is here.

The Moves.

In September, some reorganizing started. One fun thing to watch, has been the parallels that continue to happen with people that are awakening themselves in my immediate circle. The people that I am also the closest to. As I inched myself closer and closer into the realization that yes, I would be moving, and yes I had no idea where to. Another breaking free of a fear came time. To talk to my sister who had lived with me exactly for two years in California.

The text went something like this.

Hey Angie, so I can no longer afford to live here in this house. I’m so sorry for the short notice. You are welcome to still stay with us but I don’t know what will happen next.

I repeat, it went something like that.

Unbeknownst to me, just two days before, Angela had come to her own realization after living with me for two years. She explained to one of her friends that,

no matter where she lived, she realized that her happiness wasn’t dependent on it, She realized that she was taking herself with her

She explained all of this to me. To hear her talk in that way, not that she wasn’t receptive before, but she literally transformed before my eyes in the last two years. And to be only 22! I was just. and I’m still just at a loss for words.

So don’t worry Jazz,

We stand across from each other in my bedroom on her lunch break, and she reassures me with a smile and a hug. She continues. I feel for some reason I am supposed to move back to New Jersey. It isn’t that I don’t love California I do, but it seems like something is there in Jersey, I’m not sure what. So the plan would be for her to move back to our mom’s apartment. Not that my mom was thrilled of the news.

Angie’s move date was set for Oct 16, the same day as her move to come live with me two years before.

Simultaneous to that, Laura, my brother’s gf (but I refer to her as my sister as well) was going through her own spiritual transmuting. Her and my brother although as close as can be for the last six years, did not have the relationship that Laura imagined. She imagined an unconditional one. One where the truth, where God was put first. One that wasn’t co-dependent on any level. She became determined to make that happen at any cost, even if it meant the two of them separating for some time, for however long. Sound familiar? Another Twin Flame dynamic. Hers paralleling with mine, and mine with hers.

So the timing once again, was set for Anthony, my brother to move back to my moms and out of Laura’s, a day or two before my sister’s arrival to the East Coast. Everyone starting right back where they started from. Good ole’ South Jersey. And my mom on the receiving end of this, being blindsided. Being hit with changes from every corner of her life, all at once. One kid enthusiastically welcoming homelessness, and two others moving home. 10 years from now this will make a GREAT laugh, and a great remember the time when… story.

Promise mom. Hang in there.

Oh, I’m not done.

It’s October 15th, and I’m watching the neighbors literally move IN to the house next to me. Parallel city. I couldn’t help but chuckle. All of my other neighbors although polite, secretly hated our existence because of my kids wild, rebellious ways, mainly the twins. They pee in the backyard, but who hasn’t at some point in life peed in their own backyard and ran around naked? We were the only family with young children pretty much on the street. But the family moving in next door, had two young boys. I peek through the window to see that they were already running around, barefoot and without pants on, in the front lawn for the world to see. Naked and not afraid. Hah!

The Final Sun

I’m watching the California sunset with my sister and Max and Xander, my boys, half hidden by the overcast. I think we both knew, that we were setting into a new beginning, that would be make us both unrecognizable yet again, just a year from then. Waves of mixed emotions overcame me as I watched the twins dance around a pregnant lady nearby who was in the middle of a very serious beach/glam/pregnant person photoshoot.

Whoops.

I realized I was getting very used to the rug being swept from underneath me. I was becoming very accustomed, to project nowhere and just be here, in presence. Anticipate no future step, and just….. watch the sunset. The thoughts were comforted by the peekaboo sunset view. Half hidden, and yet beautiful in the mystery of just, not knowing what was coming.

The next day as Angela is headed back on to the plane to Philly/Jersey, I realize, that up until then, I hadn’t made a decision. I was still stuck between fighting to stay in my current house longer, demanding that I get seen by the eviction court (I was never given a date to show up in court, I was just served eviction papers,) when deep down, I knew it was time to completely step into the unknown, just like that sunset. Just like my sisters’ and brothers full circled, new beginning.

And so, it hit me.

How was fighting to stay put in a house for a few months where I couldn’t pay the rent a good fit for everyone involved? It wasn’t. I was thinking about just my family. Not the company that bought the house, not the potential future renters that could benefit from living there. And that’s when I realized that my back and forth about should I fight to stay or leave…vanished.

Another it hit me moment.

Damien, my oldest son, 16, should avoid the storm and move back to Philly too I thought. Now this would require me asking my grandmother for assistance. Which, is not my favorite thing to do. I had experienced much “expectations” upon ever receiving assistance, especially from family members. I felt like the moment I accepted help, I in some way became obligated to become the martyr, to take a conversational beating. But I did it anyway. I asked for help.

She graciously accepted Damien to stay with her in Philly until at least through the Holidays. That at least was one relief.

As I drive back from Lax at 5 in the morning that Friday, Operation Storage unit was the name of the game now as I watched the few hundred dollars I have, turn into 50. And I looked at my pretty little baby grand piano back at home.

And knew that I was supposed to give it away. God business. It’s funny how when things are totally free, people become very suspicious. No one likes strings I guess. I put my $3,000 mini grand piano up on the app LetGo that I had bought 10 months before, for $200.

How sweet, I can pay my cellphone with it.

And, I found the buyer. I just knew she was the one.

Her beautiful response:

Just something about me I’m not sure why I’m so drawn to your piano but I grew up playing piano and violin I was my only solace in my family because I was very  Severely ADD extremely shy super bullied at home and in school music was my escape in my salvation and I haven’t had a chance to play for over a decade and have restaurants I saw your piano and you I needed to have it and it would be a fresh start for me to reclaim music without any of the negative things that I grew up with. t would be the world to me to be able to have your baby grand gorgeous white piano.I can’t think of anything had rather like from Christmas and my birthday which is a week after  Christmas than your piano. —

A little later, My dear friend Sabryna and her boyfriend help me get my tv off the wall and show me how my back seats to my SUV go all the way flat. Oh wow. I can take a lot more with me to the storage unit than I thought.

As I eyed the flat back on my SUV, I had a feeling that very quiclkly that’d be becoming our new bed for while.

The piano lady finally comes to get the piano. But not before engulfing me in what? take a guess. Prayer!

Lord Father God, please guide Jazz in this time, to know that you are with her every step of the way. Please give her the courage to keep one foot in front of the other and trust your every move….

I smile.

God sure knows how to pick em‘, I thought.

As I listened to her sincere concern, I could tell that she felt guilty. Guilty for taking the piano off my hands when she didn’t realize it was all a very deliberate part of the plan. Here is this prayer warrior standing in front of my living room, who landed herself, a brand new grand piano for almost for free. I could see how it looked to her. It looked sad. But I knew it was just one more step into the giving up for me. I stood there in the deepest internal knowing that giving and receiving are one.

I felt full of love. Full.

As half of my house was packed, and the other half I vowed to leave behind, (it just felt right), I woke up the next morning, Monday morning, knowing today would be “the day”. It would be the day where I had to leave the house willingly. The Officer who was due to lock me out, and never came back on Oct 16th. He told me, not to worry, her would give me a few extra days. And that was a kind move on his end. It was now that Monday, five days after the lock out date. I was ready to be the one to make the move first. I was physically tired, but spiritually filled up. I knew it was time to go.

go on now Bessie, get goin’ get outta here.

I sit quietly clutching with my final cup of coffee and a mug I’d leave behind. Xander turns to me, Mom you know what is a great idea. You should go to the wishing well, and make a wish.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. The little Make a wish Penny Fountain at the mall. “It’s funny Xander,” I started knowing not much of how much this my six year old would get. “I only have one wish, and it is to follow God. The money comes when it is time buddy.” He smiled at me, laid his head down softly in my lap, and I felt overwhelmed with appreciation for his suggestion.

I sent the kids to school, wrapped the house up, and said goodbye, to it. So much had happened. And I once again realized, that the person that walked into that house in 2016, was not the same person stading there waving farewell that day. My bedroom had become sacred ground to me in those three years.

The realizations. All of them, happened there. In that room.

It was a moment. A long moment that I had with the longest address name ever. EAST AVENIDA DE LOS LOBOS MARINOS.

Yeesh.

As I looked at the date, October 21, I thought of October 14, 2014, the day I landed in California 5 years before. The beginning of the real beginning.

….and here we were again. At another beginning to an even bigger beginning.

I sat in the driveway and fired on my cell phone.

I wrapped it up with an email to the officer and left the God stuff out.

To: Officer __

From: Jasmine Elder

Subject: Jasmine Elder Lock-Out

I couldn’t find anyone to help with some information on getting a court date, before being locked out.
It will remain a mystery as to why i wasn’t given a court date I guess.
I’ve officially given up. Thank you for the extra days at the house, that was very helpful. 
The house is locked up, and the key is under the mat. I could not afford take any of the belongings that we left, they can throw it all out.
Thanks. 

I found myself in Mission Viejo, not entirely sure what to make of the day, I decide to go for a stroll in the mall.

And as I pace back and forth back and forth from upper level to the lower level, I see something from the corner of my eye.

OMG, how could I have forgotten.

The penny fountain! As I get a closer look. I see it. All the wishes, all the pennies were gone and the entire well was dried up, except for a little bit of dirty water hanging out as a remembered of what used to exist. I hadn’t even thought about going to the mall because of the wishing well, and here I was standing in front of it.

I couldn’t help but see the symbolism. The well was how things look. How they “looked” hopeless. To the point where all of the wish making was gone. And so, I dug around in my back pocket and found a dime. I was gonna make a wish, at Xander’s request.

And I knew which one I was gonna make.

No matter where this road goes, no matter what I have to lose, no matter how bleak things “appear” to look on the outside, I will follow the Will of God, I will stay with truth and I will stay with peace.

That’s it.

Thats my wish. And it was clear, that that that wish had already been granted by me to me.

Jazz Check this out.

A text later in the day from my sister.

On the way back to Philly you could see the shadow of our plane in the clouds. surrounding the shadow of the plane the whole video

is a rainbow.

As I watched the video, I could clearly see it. I was even happier to see how my sister was paying attention to the miracles all around us now. She had cracked the door of spirit open. Her life would never be the same.

I knew the meaning. All the moves were just as they should be.

Laura and Anthony

My sister,

Damien

and me.

Everyone is exactly where they should be. Following the will of God, and to think that this is all just getting started…..

And so there I was without a home and overwhelmed with an abundant amount of peace.

Shocker.

Operation Homelessness Preparation complete.

Published by TheEnlightenedRebel

My story

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