Ya know those days when something is about to happen and you can feel it in the air? You are just missing maybe one link, one piece to the puzzle, and you just aren’t sure what it is? Sometimes it’s nothing but patience that’s missing. You just needed to be patient to let all the pieces unfold.
It was July 2019, and I had a few weeks of singlehood because my kids were away visiting their dad. Of course my singlehood was more like spirithood. It consisted of meeting a ton of people in various spiritual communities in a few week period online and in person. It was around the end of my time off, and the kids would be back in about 8 days. I had been going to various Course in Miracles meetings and they were great, but I knew there was something else missing. There was something during this time off, related to A Course in Miracles, that I was supposed to be a part of.
I knew in the future, the near future, there would be Course in Miracles classes, that I would have my role in, but I couldn’t figure out how. I knew it was someone I was supposed to meet, someone that would act as a mentor to me in many ways. Someone that I would learn from, and we would take a journey together.
It was a Monday and I was pacing around on Doheny beach, not sure what to do with the rest of the day. I had maybe 15 dollars in my Wells Fargo account. I figured if the Godvice came in and I needed to be somewhere, most likely, for gas that’d be enough to get me to and back.
Then my friend, the friend that I was very close to during the most intense part of this process, called me, we’ll call her Brandy.
Brandy: Hey Jazz, I got a flyer in my email. I know you’ve been talking forever about finding A Course in Miracles class, it looks like they have one at the HeartSpace school tonight. It’s called “A Course in Miracles Seen Differently.”
Ding ding ding.
Sometimes, like I said, it just takes a little patience. I saw the price of the class, $30.
Okay, I thought as I trekked down the beach on one of my notoriously long beach walks. If I call Wells Fargo, and get a refund for this overdraft fee from a few days, I’ll be able to go.
So I did just that, got the whooping $35 back bringing my account to an impressive $50, and I headed to Costa Mesa for the evening class. I show up to see a small group of four people there gathered around at a meeting table.
And there she was.
Within 5 minutes of meeting CJ, I knew she was the one. I knew that I knew her from the time of Yeshua instantly. All the Godvice was already in my ear giving me plans. It was clear, I’d get to know her, and I’d have to tell her everything, but I’d have to start slow. We connected like two soulmates would. I could feel her love for the course radiate through her as she taught. She was dedicated to teaching, and dedicated to her students. It was on the second class where I knew we’d be working together in more ways than one.
She turns to me privately.
And so the students you see here on on the spiritual life coach track.
She turns to me, with a serious gaze on her face, You’d make an amazing life coach ya know.
I heard it, but I knew even on a surface level, that life coaching wasn’t the right fit, so I kept listening.
Now it’s the same classes, she continues on, but a different path which is the Ministerial students I teach. It’s under the Madonna Ministries.
Buzzzzzz I could feel my face getting hot, and my ears ringing.
No shit. I’m becoming a Minister and she would be my teacher.
you are so sneaky sometimes, I love how you surprise me with the obvious.
What we all have in common being a part of this ministry is a deep relationship with Mother Mary.
I thought of the days where I used to place my mother Mary statue by my bedside as a little girl that my aunt had given me. And if it didn’t seem like Mary was staring directly down at the head of my bed, I’d get out of bed and rearrange her till it was perfect. I thought of Laura, my dearest sister, and the reincarnation of Mother Mary in this lifetime. Yeah, I check that one right off the list, I thought silently.
I politely nodded and told her.
This is for me.
Road Trip To Oxnard
Months go by, and now its November 8th, and we are headed up to Oxnard. It was my first trip to meet everyone and I was invited to see one of the other ladies become ordained and take part in ceremony. I was excited to meet the Head Minister. And off the five of us went. Oxnard, here we come if I don’t lose a leg from being squooshed in the backseat, here we come.
At this point the whole group didn’t know about me being the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene, they didn’t know about The Second Coming etc, just CJ knew meaning that I told her. Whether she understood, well I guess that would be for her to answer.
We all on our way to Oxnard stop off for Lunch. Everyone’s eating, and I awkwardly attempt to hide my awkwardness because I didn’t have money to eat. I felt awkward really because I knew they felt awkward about me being penniless and would offer me food for the 80th time. It’s like being the third wheel 50 times in a row. I cant have you pay for my food repeatedly. Once is sweet.
One of the ladies brings up, Well when we go to France this May….
I, already knowing the answer, inquisitively ask,
What’s in France? One of the ladies replies,
Well we go every year, we’ll be doing the Mary Magdalene tour like we do every year, The head minister of the Madonna ministries organizes the whole thing, although I think this year, is the last trip.
I tried my best to hide the wide eyed look that I get whenever someone drops a bomb of information from God not even realizing that’s what they just did.
That conversation, triggered the feeling that I knew so well.
Oh boy, there it is, theres the feeling. I thought to myself. The five of us squeeze into our GMC and continue our adventure.
I gaze out the window as the sun starts to set over the mountain tops.
Yeah guys so somethings about to go down, its a good thing, but its a big thing. It looks like tomorrow.
I thought to myself. What’s tomorrow? November 9th. The first time I ever spent time with Judas alone, you could call it a date. Like two nervous nellies we awkwardly go out to some laid back place for dinner in San Clemente. Both of us being overly polite to hide our nerves, smiling and laughing way too much. He gave me his Buddhist bell, the one he chanted with for years. It was an endearing evening.
And, I continue to the ladies,
It has to do with meeting the head minister at Madonna Ministries, whatever is going to happen it’s between me and her.
What could it be?
Gosh those human questions of anxiously anticipating the next moment, but I couldn’t help myself. No seriously, what could it be?
From start to finish the following day was magical. It was hard to believe that that evening we’d be headed back to Orange County, stepping into a different scene on the same day. The house that the ordination was held at was turned into a Mother Mary shrine. One room had been converted into a chapel, and you couldn’t pass a corner without the innocent white statue of the Blessed Mother welcoming your presence.
Yep, I knew it from the moment I said yes, these people, are my people. I’m home. I was welcomed from one arm to the next by Ministers of all different life paths. Males and Females. Dressed differently, different backgrounds and upbringings. The welcome was more like a, hello my long lost sister, I am touched to see you again. Welcome home.
We round together for the ordination.
The head minister turns to me
Jazz, you become a minister, when you are called to become one.
I knew that had already happened the moment the head minister place the extra stole scarf that she had around my neck. I could feel in that moment that I had become one. The energy shift went from from high to higher instantly. I watch the woman being ordained engulfed in love. She looked like a beam of light, thats how much love was shooting from her essence. The fellow ministers surrounded her with presence one by one.
Then they all turn to me, I look at CJ, she gives me her blessing.
This was the thing wasn’t it? This was it? I was to be ordained today? I can tell ya, I just didn’t see it coming.
The head minister looks at me and initiates the ordination. Someone with such power and intensity. As she gazed at me and placed her hand on my heart, there was this mystery to her that I couldn’t quite figure out but the kind of mystery you want to know more of. I knew we would know each other more deeply in the years to come.
And then CJ turns to me, and I lost it. A 13 year old took these pics by the way, talk about capturing the moment.
She gingerly her hands on my tear stricken face and says, My daughter, I knew from the moment that I met you Jazz, that we had work to do together. I am always with you, and every step of the way on your journey, I will be there with you.
It was a night of the pure love from the Divine Femine.
Thanks again for another sneaky moment of somehow keeping the obvious next step from me. Thanks for the surprise.
I’ve been asked many times after this. So how does being a Minister fall into all of this? My answer will always be the same. I just follow God’s will, and I don’t have any answers, until I’m told. I knew that it was a part of the plan, but the why behind it mattered none.
I took the time on the drive home, from the back seat, to tell the ladies rest of the story.
The Who I am, why I am here, and what’s to come to the best of my ability, which usually comes off as way too much to bite off at one time. Some of them, without me telling them, they were somehow were already on to me. Others didn’t believe anything I said.
I was graced with not only with this day, but complete graciousness from all of them. I had no idea how I’d pay the $200 in Minister fee’s after the fact, I figured a payment plan, and somehow someway it’d be paid. The very next day, I received a text from CJ.
I wanted to let you know the two gifts that were given to me after your ordination yesterday. They are monetary gifts to cover your ordination and dues in the ministry for next year 2020. The total comes to $200. You had quite a journey over the weekend, I am so excited for you my daughter, my sister, my friend. -CJ
Once again my heart is full, and open as I’ve received such endless support along this journey. It’s so clear how it’s everyone’s journey. We are all together in this.
Update to this post March 2020: One thing I did not mention in this post when I wrote it, was at one point on the car ride home, God wanted me to just blurt out my past as a prostitute in front of the other four women in the car. So of course, I did just that.
After my announcement spread among the other members that were part of the ministry, the money that was donated from other Madonna Ministries members towards my ordination cost was revoked from being able to put towards my ordination and I was told that my ordination was not official and would not be until I returned to California in the summer/fall of 2020.