Bits and pieces of stories, happened all over the place and at different times with different people. so this is me putting them all together. Like a treasure hunt or a patchwork quilt or something.
I had had some very we’ll call them ‘interesting’ experiences before making it past the Amboy area. after being weary and sick in the van the night before, I checked into the motel the next day to turn my room key and look inside the basic motel room. I look down once inside to see a brown pocket bible that had mysteriously landed underneath the table of the room. I run out of the room and check with the maid that had just cleaned the room. How could she have missed this under the table?
Me: Hey, do you give out Bible’s to the rooms by chance, or can I get a bible?
The lady looked at me as if to say, do you really think these construction workers out here got time to be sitting in their room reading the bible?
Her:No, we don’t give out Bibles to the rooms.
I close my Motel room door and God immediately says to turn the tv on and stop a few channels in. I quickly realize, its the Davinci Code right at the part where Leaigh Teabing explains in the movie that that the Holy Grail is actually Mary Magdalene’s womb along with the hidden documents that prove Jesus and Mary’s marriage as well as their bloodline of descendants. I snap a photo of the snowy dinosaur tv, that looked like it might play PBS and not a movie like the Davinci Code. Whether I was out on the road or in a musty motel room, a trail of miracles eagerly awaited to be noticed. I smile, appreciating the comfort of “right place, right time,” from the tv, and take my achey body to a million hours of sleep. The kind when you wake up with a soaking pillow from all the drool that escapes your mouth while you were unconscious all that time.
Well Hello to the Fear of God!
Later that night I had a visit from let’s call it an ‘Other Worldy Being.’ The being put it’s “hand” on my knee, asking permission to send some energy through me, but fear was in the way, and I started screaming like someone was trying to kill me, and of course tall, skeleton looking creature, disappeared.
Another memorable event for me was I saw the famous blueish white light that many Mystics from the East and West report of when going into the expanded energies of God, or at least that was the only reference I’d knew of the ‘blue pearl.’ I read about it recently and so I had been expecting it. As I watched it dance, the light almost spoke as if asking permission again. As if to say: Would it be alright to show you what you really are? You are me, you are energy. As I agreed, the light started to expand and once again, there I was, sheer terror, bloody murder screams escaping my big mouth in the house I was staying at of the Bushfire Ministries.
Moments later, I’m kicking myself in the foot. The expanded energies of God, to experience them, and to fully embody them has been the whole POINT to my journey, and it turns out I’m too chicken shit? This was new news and I wasn’t happy about it.
My Unexpected Body Gaurds
I will whiz through the adventures of the next day or so but in my Mojave travels I met Ken and Eliju separately. Both randomly saw me walking along the dirt road with the sun beaming down on my chaffed forehead and nose. Unbeknownst to me, Eliju and pup Lizzy would end up being my body guard for that night. We later approach a pretty okay abandoned building for me to sleep in and I was so sick still I was happy for the smooth cement rather than the tough rock and gravel. It was clear that I had just met another set of angels.
Eliju: Listen, I’m done driving for the day I’m going to park my van over by the trees just to make sure noone bothers you for the night, and if you have any problems, you come get me.
We parted ways but not before my dinner of champions offered by his kindness. A shot of whiskey, some cold split pee soup and a fruit cocktail!
Earlier that day, Ken saw me walking and was a hilarious character. He was someone I’d sit back and chill with most likely in regular Jazz life. His long hair and laid back carefree approach to life radiated around and through him. He offered up just about anything he could find in his car.
Ken: I just worry about you out here and I’m on my own spiritual quest too, and mine says to watch over you. Here, how about some weed.
He reaches across and hands me some bud and a pipe. I graciously accepted knowing I had no idea how to use the pipe it even if I tried. As I’m walking down the road the following morning, somehow Kens back. Ken: I’m back just to make sure you are alright, I figured you must’ve slept near here, here take breakfast! He Handed me a Mcdonald’s bag and we wave goodbye, Two gentlemen, two perfect strangers, with ears that were on for God, whether they realized it or not. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
The Angel Denise and The Bushfire Ministries
I make it to Needles and the Godvice starts full force. I knew that I had exactly 182 dollars in my bank account. I initially ignore Gods guidance to go to the Best Western, because I knew it was way more expensive, but after a bad experience across the street, I reluctantly go over to BW. And there she was, an angel at the front desk. Denise. With bright eyes and beautiful long hair, it wasn’t long before we were pals.
Denise: I’m so impressed with what you’re doing. God talks to me all the time and I just sometimes doubt if I’ve heard him right on some of the things he tells me.
As we stood there and she’d checking me in, God started giving her all kinds of instructions to take care of me. She was making a list of things to pick me up at the store and gave me a stack of quarters so that I could get finally some laundry done. When people hear God clearly, you can sense that there’s an invisible ‘someone else’ that the person is communicating with. And of course in truth God is our true self that we are finally just deciding to listen to. It’s just the most beautiful thing to me, to watch the trust unfold through the person. My heart was singing.
Denise goes on to tell me that she went to San Clemente High School for a year and a half which happened to be my West Coast hometown. Small world. And all about her 4 kids and two jobs with one day off she gets a week. By the looks of her smile, you’d never know she was working so hard to the bone.
Denise: But I admit, A sudden crack appears in her smile, I’m becoming weary.
I saw something new. That perhaps she was holding on to hope, and the bit that was left felt like it was about to leave her grasp. I’d met so many on the road with that same look in their eyes. That smile hiding weariness. Of course I had to contain myself and not say too much about what I knew about us meeting that day, but it was hard. So far, I wasn’t instructed to share more about all of why I was out there on the road, of why I had met all of these people out here, and that each and everyone of them had shared a miracle between us. And it would just be a matter of time, to see how that miracle would look in their lives.
She then hands me a paper.
Denise: I have a feeling you are supposed to stay tomorrow, I run the music program at my church down the street, service is at 6pm.
I had a feeling I wasn’t supposed to leave tomorrow either, but no other information came in about how I could stay cause I didn’t have the extra funds for another nights stay.
Back in my room with clean clothes, as the evening approached…
God: Go on to happy hour across the street, there will be someone there for you to talk with, sit at that bar and bring a peice of paper with your blog on it.
It was 4:30.
Me: But I just ate 3 hours ago!
God: Well, theres someone there for you to meet.
As I sat down at the bar with the piece of paper in my pocket, it wasn’t long before, we’ll call him ‘Ray’ landed next to me shortly after. Leather Jacket, kind smile, and inviting energy, I knew it had to be him, the person I was supposed to talk to. As we start talking, he had that same sponge look and way about him that Denise had earlier. What I mean by that, was he was soaking up my story about my walk and God like a sponge. I’d become curious about his story, because I started to see that people that were so moved by this story tend to have something in common which is an extensive amount of suffering during various periods in their life. It wasn’t long before Ray went on to share.
Ray: I was a millionaire twice over and lost everything twice, including my wife, she decided to leave too. Now I got this RV that I upgraded it and bought a bigger one but my girlfriend ended up changing her mind and not wanting to travel with me, so now I can’t afford the RV even. Hell I cant even afford being at this Happy hour right now, but let me buy you a drink anyway.
As we continued, I could tell he just wanted to hear clear guidance from God, where to go, what the next move was in his life, and in finding his perfect partner. I could tell that he felt like he’d been waiting on that guidance forever.
Me: Well what I can tell you, is that I was very specifically sent here to this bar Ray, and it didn’t make financial sense for me to go happy hour either. I hand him the piece of paper with my blog on it.
We laughed and hugged and parted ways, perhaps I sensed a glimpse of restored faith in his path even if it was a glimpse, it was a light that ignited in our time together. Like always, I had such a good time sitting back and watching the ways my body and mouth would be directed. Where to go, who to speak to, and at which minute to start and stop. Go to the bar now. It’s like being the star of your own movie, but you get to watch it from the front row with popcorn rather than try to do a good job with lines and acting. God was doing the whole thing, and this wasn’t the Jasmine show.
Next morning I woke up a little annoyed still no guidance on what to do after asking for a later checkout. It was around 11am.
God: Go see Denise now.
Me: Okay well Im going to go check out, and if theres a sign along the way to stay, send one.
I hand Denise the keys to check me out. She looks up at me handing me my goody bag of all the things she’d grabbed me from the day before for the road.
Denise: I have an idea, on my lunch break in a minute lets go over to my church, theres a house across the street that they are fixing up, im sure you could sleep there if I talk to pastor jim.
Ahah, I thought. That’s why I was supposed to wait till lunchtime at the hotel because it was all for Denise’s lunch break so she could take me to the church. Now I knew for sure I was supposed to stay for the night, and thank goodness cause I was still a snotty mess.
An hour later, Denise got me set up with the house across from the church, and I spent the rest of the day laying on a dusty couch, still sniffling and feeling every erk and twitch within my achy body. Wow four days of being down. In times of rest I really rested and it looked something like this…ruff.
At 6pm it was time the service the energy of the church and drag my achey body across the street. As I sit in a pew, to the right of me I peer over to see Davinci’s Last Supper on the wall, same photo from the Hotel Tv playing the Davinci code. Just another treasure hun crumb to say: You are exactly in the exact spot of where should be right now.
In terms of the sermon, If you are wondering was it a traditional Evangelistic message, well yes and no. During the sermon there was the usual Christian interpretations of the Word of God that we all know so well. Yeshua/Jesus being the “one and only savior”, the whole human sinner unworthiness part, and the need to repent. The part where grace is necessary and is pretty much described as the Undeserved merciful favor from God to us human beings. With that said, As I listened however, there was a message of love, of standing true to being yourself offered and a message of going against tradition when God guides you in that direction. There was a theme of non judgement of your neighbor from one to the next and I could clearly see that in the way the people were with each other.
It reminded me of how words out of a person or a sermon may say one thing, but the energy of a person, a group or place doesn’t lie. Despite the spoken words, this church just like Denise, was filled with love. The love extended and continued on as I got up to receive a blessing from both Pastors. My tiredness and sore body didn’t want to I admit.
The experience had brought some salve to my wounds of my previous Christian past experiences. Their hearts were in the right spot and they weren’t shoving their message down anyones throat although they wholeheartedly believed. It made sense why I stayed the extra night. To heal my misperceptions.
The next morning, I got moving around sunrise, and set out towards the open road. I crossed the AZ border over the Colorado river, and I had an uneventful walk to Oatman. Except for the usual down to my last quarter amount of water in my canteen, and in perfect timing, someone would always stop to offer up their water. I hadn’t been walking as long as I usually did. It was about 3 pm and I could feel the signals from God to stop. I started looking around in the prickly Arizona bushes to find a spot.
God: No, walk just a little bit further youll know when to stop when you see it.
Then I see a bookstore.
God: Oh yep go on over there. I go in or try to. Closed.
Me: Okay see its those moments when you confuse me God, why would you tell me to walk over here to a closed bookstore?
I then look up. A trailer, missing windows a little bit up the road. Had I not crossed the street to the bookstore, I very well would’ve missed it.
I quietly approach it, pretty certain it may be on privately owned property and trying to be quiet on gravel doesn’t really work. I go inside the broken down trailer to an absolute shit show. the thing looked like it had perhaps broken down in 1985, the wood was completely rotted from ceiling to floor, and there was stuff everywhere. Ornaments, an old tub and a 49’ers baby seat. The largest amount of stuff was mice dung lining the perimeter of the entire place. Okay, well Im sure I’ll grab a another sign from you that im supposed to sleep here for the night, because Jasmine is pretty whacky but this whacky? this place is just whack!
I turn to the ceiling for the sign, DaVinci code number 3, posted right up on the wall Mona Lise, or in other words, the Anagram for Amon Lise, the undercover symbol of the unification of the Divine Feminine and Masculine energies, the union of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. It was most definitely my sign, I begrudgingly had to admit.
Well maybe the mice poops old from like 10 years ago and its super cold and il be fine?
yep no, about an hour later I’m taking a youtube video.
And, Ack what was that? I look down a see a couple furry friends scurrying a few feet away from my feet. I had discovered a new fear. ATTACK OF THE MICE! Yeah yeah the mice are God too, but I was still not interested in a rodent sleepover in my sleeping bag.
Okay so apparently, I have a fear of God clearly that I discovered a few days ago, and apparently I have a fear of sleeping with mice. I address my spirit team. Am I at the point where I’m able to ask for help yet from you guys?
See most of my journey over the last year, I had very specific instructions, that I was to lead myself, help myself, and endure everything MYSELF in my awakening process. You can say that it was part of my personal awakening contract that I set up for myself in this lifetime. To awaken solo without assistance initially. Which at times felt like total bullshit.
In unison they respond. Yes. After your two weeks out here, we can help now.
Me: Wow. So Arizona means I can actually and call on my team and you’ll actually help me! Okay. Yeshua. Especially the God fear, I need help with that. Also actually falling asleep tonight in Mice Motel.
Yeshua: You got it. You know you’ve got your ‘How to Become a Christ’ zoom group tonight, don’t forget.
Me:Yes, I almost had forgotten.
During the group, the conversation up for discussion was of all things, miracles, especially the kind involving total mergence into the oneness of God. The big ones, like raising the dead. Shocker. These miracles that I was well aware of were going to start to pick up in speed and intensity out here, deep down I discovered, actually frightened me.
In order for miracles of that magnitude to occur, the empty space within the mind of the human being, has to be, well a really really wide open amount of space. That’s how the Buddha, Yeshua, and all the others were able to allow these miracles to occur through their bodies. It sounds confusing a little so let me say it this way. In order to merge with God though your human vehicle, and have miracles occur like say, the dead reviving, you have to have a lot of empty space in your mind in order for that TOTAL God energy to surge in you like a volcanic rush.
And like I said, knowing that, knowing how empty you had to become, well, I was SCARED.
The leader of the group starts to mention something.
For our meditation now, this is quite a surprise but Jesus would like to offer his energy to anyone who would like to merge with him. He would like with your permission to come in and help you heal a fear you’ve been holding onto.
Surprise surprise. I ask for help an hour before, and here it is.
I lie there in my plank mouse poop infested piece of wood and let the energy wrap me up. I could feel the accelerations in energy, and Yeshua’ earnest gesture to simply be of service not just to me, but to all of us. I could also feel the hiccups of my own fear of the experience as the merge continued and the visuals of light started to flash within my mind. But the fears I had realized, they lessoned from just the hour before. I felt the mice fear completely evaporate, and as the heavy surges continued Yeshua starts speaking to me.
Yeshua: Based on the experiences that you’ve had at this level, Your God fear has been wiped clean.
Me: What do you mean, THIS level?
Yeshua: You will be faced with more fears of God you harbor as you experience deeper and deeper merging experiences with God. So I can’t heal what hasn’t arisen up within you based on your current experience. I can’t interfere with the natural progression of your process. But the fear you’ve been struggling with especially the last few days, if you are ready to let it go, it’s ready to be freed up.
I felt open. Not impatient to make it leave, just open. In that experience, it had given me just another taste. I knew this journey was about to take a shift into focusing in on energy work now that I had surmounted my own Mojave demons over the last two weeks.
God: Good morning Jasmine, good morning mice.
Me: I’ll rise, but I refuse to shine!
The next morning as I wipe the 5am sleepy from my eyes. I trudge up over, down and around the Oatman mountain at sunrise. And as I cuss and whine that the mountain was a never ending roller coaster ride to walk along, suddenly the guidance of God had indeed taken a completely new turn.
My team went from staying in the background over the last two weeks, as my tears were shed and my knees would wobble cursing the next step I’d take, to full blast informing me of a sudden course correction.
Me: Wait wait?
The entire trip, the entire being out here, took a turn that I did not see coming. It was my job to listen to the guidance given at that exact time and to be ready at any moment for a left or right turn. Had I known this new information two weeks before, I would’ve had a completely different experience out here in the Mojave, one that would not be as beneficial as the one that I had had for my own spiritual growth. Although there were a lot of growing pains.
So naturally, I wasn’t supposed to know ahead of time.
But what the curveball was in detail, well, I’ll save that for next time.